Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
wrigley field is MILF paradise
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
