the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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