3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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