if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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