Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
