never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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