What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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