Soap is not a condiment
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
