just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
