we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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