I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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