I want to stick my p in your. b.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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