I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
