I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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