I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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