Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
