it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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