But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
