She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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