Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
