i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
