3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
