where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
