You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
