Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
