it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How does one acquire holy water?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
