Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
