Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
