That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
