I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm passing your future prison.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
