Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
