why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
