speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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