and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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