We're facebook friends in real life
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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