I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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