how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
