and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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