my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
