would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Randomize
