I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
