Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
