afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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