That's intense
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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