i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
