I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
