Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize