White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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