i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
