1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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